Thursday, November 15, 2012

My Morning Goes From Sleepy to Dangerous to Delighted

The alarm went off at 4:30 a.m. this morning from the dresser at the edge of the room.  I jumped out of bed with my sheets tangled around my ankles and the bedroom walls mysteriously springing to action and slamming themselves against the bridge of my nose.  I bashed down on the snooze button like I had a personal vendetta with the device.  I made the seven foot journey back to bed with minimal assaults from enemy furniture and resumed my sleepy slumber. 

The alarm went off again at 4:35 this morning.  Only this time from my husband's iPhone.  I played dead.  I held my breath.  I snored.  I farted.  I gave him about a minute to admit he was awake and shut off his own ear puncturing app.  Then suddenly the sound waves jiggled my brain like a Grateful Dead concert.   I jolt of hippie dance shook through my soul and my arm shot out across his face in search of the alarm.  If I'm going to be entertained by the Grateful Dead it will not be an impersonation.  Unfortunately my elbow landed on his eye socket.  That woke him up.  I tapped the iPhone, curled up and slipped back into snooze land.  My husband glared at me with his good eye.  I have a sixth sense for that sort of thing.  I snored and farted.  He fainted.

The alarm went off for a third time at 4:40 this morning.  The culprit was the clock on the dresser.  Yes, the same one protected by the maniacal, moving walls.  Yikes.  I wasn't stumbling over there half awake again.  Trick me once, shame on you.  Trick me twice, shame on me.  I kicked the blankets off clean.  I swung my feet around a sat at the edge of the bed in a perfect 90 degree angle.  I stood up, eyes wide open, and marched straight for that black little box.  The walls had an ally.  The calico cat curled up on the carpet screeched, scratched and clawed it's way up my leg when my right foot firmly planted itself on ol' Kitty's backbone.  Kitty in tow, I nearly broke my finger when I pressed the off button.  I was officially awake.  Off was a safe bet. 

I walked into the kitchen.  Morning chores swirled in my thoughts.  Just as I was about to start coffee and packing lunches I remembered that load of laundry in the dryer.  The one that had my daughter's favorite outfit for school in it.  Oops.  I sauntered in expecting yet another wrinkle in my morning.  I opened the dryer and inspected the contents.  Behold...fluffy, wrinkle free and ready to wear threads were patiently waiting for Momma to retrieve them.  Once again Leaping Sheep Wool Dryer Balls came to the rescue, not only for the families clothing but for my morning.  It's going to be a good day.  

Written By:  Jessica Connor

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